


This is not a Joker Joke.

by epic_gamer_momemt



Category: Zero Escape (Video Games)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:27:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26932132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epic_gamer_momemt/pseuds/epic_gamer_momemt
Summary: Junpei and Akane go on Discord and get hacked by epic hackerman Mr. D.
Kudos: 2





	This is not a Joker Joke.

As Junpei and Akane drove over the border into Chicago IL, they heard multiple screams echo through the air. Whether this was due to it being halloween night, or simply due to the fact that they were in Chicago, they did not know. Despite this, they kept on driving, and eventually made their way into a little apartment they had rented for their holiday after eventually taking down the religious terrorist, who had actually turned out to be some random guy that said he was a God and was so old his age had wrapped back around to 0 or something, but that’s not really that important right now.

As they stepped into their temporary dwelling, Akane sat down and went onto Discord to talk to some of her friends and Junpei went to go make some mac n cheese. Akane called into Junpei after a bit, saying: “Hey bae can you come in here there’s some guy on my server saying he has my IP or some shit haha.” Junpei came into the living room laughing and said: “Yo really? Haha that’s great, what’s his username?” “Mr. D” said Akane, “He’s saying that if I don’t play this one game he likes I’m just a stupid cunt.” Junpei laughed and said: “Man I need to see that, I’m getting on Discord now.”

He logged in and saw Mr. D talking to Akane.

_Mr. D:_ “Stupid cunt, you can’t even appreciate the game.”

_Akane:_ “lmao, you don’t even know anything about me fucker”

_Mr. D:_ “I know your IP.”

_Akane:_ “okay, what is it then lol”

_Mr. D:_ “Chicago IL.”

Akane and Junpei looked at each other from across the room, with mild concern in their eyes.

_Akane:_ “what the fuck how do you know that”

_Mr. D:_ “I know people.”

_Akane:_ “okay i’m gonna ban this fucker, he’s creepy as all hell”

_Junpei:_ “Yeah, you can’t just leak people’s IP’s like that man, that’s fucked up.”

_Mr. D:_ “Grow up.”

_Junpei:_ “lol looks more like you need to grow up, petty fucker”

_Mr. D:_ “The person who replies to this message is infinite gay.”

_Akane:_ “Lol get banned motherfucker.”

Suddenly a shiver went down Akane’s spine, she looked at Junpei with confusion. “What’s wrong bae?” Junpei asked. “I’m sorry Junpei, but I don’t think I can be with you anymore.” “What do you mean?” Junpei responded with mounting confusion. “Well after that guy said that, I suddenly don’t really find you attractive anymore, I’m sorry.” “What? This is just a joke right? Right!?” “No Junpei. This is not a Joker Joke. This is serious. I’m gonna go take a taxi out of here. I’ll be sure to stay in contact and all, but I don’t think this relationship will be able to go on after this.” Akane walked out of the apartment and Junpei slumped to the ground, defeated.

Junpei realized that he had to talk to **him**. He slid into his DMs and started ranting.

_Junpei:_ “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!”

_Mr. D:_ “Grow up.”

_Junpei:_ “SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID CUNT, MY GIRLFRIEND JUST LEFT ME BECAUSE OF YOU!”

Mr. D proceeded to post a gif from Shrek 2, depicting a bunch of characters celebrating, which angered Junpei even more.

_Junpei:_ “IM GONNA FIND YOUR IP MOTHERFUCKER”

_Mr. D:_ “You don’t even know people. Shut up you stupid cunt.”

_Junpei:_ “Try me bitch.”

Junpei then proceeded to call up Seven and got him to determine the IP address of Mr. D. “Well” said Junpei, “Where is it?” “Well I don’t know quite how to say this, but, he seems to live in Rainbow Road.” Junpei paused in disbelief. “What the fuck are you talking about Seven.” “It’s a privately owned mansion in Chicago IL.” “Oh.” said Junpei. “That makes more sense.” Junpei hung up and pondered what to do for a minute, before deciding to grab his bike he brought in his luggage and started riding over to the address Seven gave him. It was around 7 PM, and as such it was getting pretty dark outside. He stopped by a costume shop and bought a hockey mask and a hockey stick to go with it. Once he got out of the store, he wrapped a large axe blade to the end of the stick, hoisted the weapon over his back, and kept riding.

When he arrived at the mansion, he put on the mask and held the hockey axe sideways in his hands. He rang the doorbell and heard footsteps coming towards him. A guy opened the door and told him “Grow up, you’re not a kid, I’m not giving you candy you stupid cun-” At that, Junpei brought the hockey axe over his head and split his head open, and then proceeded to hack into Mr. D over and over again. He looked over his handiwork, the bloodstained chunks of human flesh spread around the doorway, and smiled. Someone screamed in the distance, and he realized he had been seen. Junpei didn’t care much. He took off his mask and with a large grin on his face lay down, using the body of his victim like a pillow. He heard sirens coming towards him, and had a mild realization that the implications of his actions could potentially be quite large, but in the moment, to be frank, he didn’t give a shit.

The officer came over to him cautiously and told him to come over peacefully. Junpei propped himself up and looked the officer dead in the eyes, the largest smile he had ever had on his face. “Grow up you stupid cunt.” After saying this Junpei laughed like he was insane, which to be fair he most likely was. “I used to think my life was a tragedy, but now I see, it is a comedy.” “I-Is this some kind of joke?” said the officer. “No.” said Junpei. “This is indeed not a Joker Joke.”


End file.
